Sunday, May 1, 2011

Someone Remind Me It's Impossible To Explode From Nerves

So I did my callback for the film today. I think it went well, but it's all up in the air for now. *nods* Trying not to be too optimistic, and not too pessimistic. Maybe I'll just be mistic *grins* It's in Thepsis' hands now and I just have to let it flow.

Chris Kane concert tonight is going to be great!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

"Fake Talking, Background, Fake Talking"

So my day of working on Leverage was amazing! It reminded me that one day I want to be a good enough actress that I eat on the other side of the curtain where they fed you a couple times during a fifteen hour workday. =8->

Very Christian-heavy episode, so I had a few moments of 'try my best to look super-cute', but most of the time I was just chill. Apparently, going to all the concerts and seeing them all a lot has made it really easy to not be a total fangirl when around the cast. I met some very nice fellow extras and exchanged some info. Sadly, didn't get the number or even last name of the cute boy in front of my in the-line-that-never-ends. Though I did mention Chris's concert and Will (CB) said he'd try and make it. Seriously, Christian needs to start paying me for all the publicity I do for his band. I am willing to accept payment in the form of dates with Steve.

Oh, and Amanda (of the Cole Porter inducing crush) hung out with me when we could because she's a stand-in and she even drove me in and home! So sweet! And she watched some of the dailies and swore you could see me in at least one of the scenes, so all is well!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Let It Be

So, I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high, but good things seem to be coming my way. I've got an extra job on Leverage (and an excuse to hang with my friend, Amanda), an opportunity to meet one of my favourite writers, a chance to wear a nice dress and practise being 'elegant', a doctor's appointment to figure out what's weird with my right hand, a couple film screenings and a maybe chance to meet a man who could really give me a leg up in the acting world. And in a couple weeks I have that callback for a part I really love in a film I'd love to be a part of.

So, things are really looking up. I'm trying to strike the balance being giving my hopes up too high and expecting the worst. What will be will be and I'm trying to be okay with that.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Just Might (Make Me Believe)

So, I did my audition yesterday. Beforehand I found myself writing down in pencil, reasons why Anne and Poi (I didn't get to Josephine, nor probably would have been able to determine) say what they say.

Apparently, this paid off (mental praise to Andrea), because I've gotten a callback! I've been asked to come in at the end of the month (unsure why the break, but not going to question) and read for Anne again. This is particularly thrilling, as Anne was the character I most wanted! So I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high, nor believe I won't get the part so much it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just take each day as it happens and do my best to make this shot I'm taking count.

I'm trying to not spread the news about, in case I don't get the part. But I can tell you, my lieblings. And my mom. So keep your fingers crossed, because I got the chance I asked for and I am going to do whatever it takes to make it count!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Nothing to Fear But the Everything

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I didn't forget exactly, I just didn't remember at a time when I could think of a subject. But, fear not, now I have!

Fear. I could do an audition on Wednesday afternoon/early evening, but there's a good chance I will not. Why? Because I am afraid. It's not the fear of not being chosen or the fear of performing (I have never suffered from that particular affliction). It's that it's across town and I'd have to take buses and know when to get off and back on and buy tickets and have the correct change and try to navigate around a part of town I've never been to before. In short, I can't go to the audition (well, I could but you get what I mean) because I am a great, big, COWARD.

On my own behalf, I'd point out this audition will not earn me any money, nor is there proof that if I got a part I'd make money or be called up by anyone who can help me move my career along. But I also could get the part, have it make the rounds and be seen by people who should see it. It's this way with every audition ever.

I probably won't go to the audition. Every time I audition I always try to convince myself not to. I spent the whole day before and the walk to Limelight talking myself out of auditioning for BLW and in the end, I didn't listen to myself and got a part and was part of a wonderful show with a truly fantastic cast. It's all about weighing the difficulties with the envisioned reward. I did the BLW audition because I could walk to the theatre, I'd been there once before and I liked the show.

This audition isn't my kind of thing, I'd have to do the aforementioned bus transferring (which is another thing that scares the hell out of me) and I don't see it taking off in a significant way (should it win an Oscar for Best Short Film I promise to dance naked in the courtyard).

The worst thing is there isn't a lot of acting opportunities in my easy-to-get-to radius. Which is why I'm looking for another kind of job, one I won't want to do, but will keep me afloat. I don't look forward to it, but this is the path I am taking. I'll pay my dues and you can keep the change.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

And You Need A Little More Than Just The Radio

So, I'm opening these blog up. I intended it to just be about my comings and goings in the acting world, but since the opportunities have been few and far between, this blog has suffered a lapse. I was looking at my last post and realized that while it did involve acting, it was more about inspiration (and laughing my butt off at Supernatural). So that's the new focus here. Not only when I get a chance to act, but those moments when I find inspiration. I'm also going to start posting more often. At least one post every Sunday. guaranteed. Along with drinking my full 3-cup water bottle every day, this is going to keep happening until I no longer need the reminder.

This week's post involves last night. I've gone to Christian Kane concerts before. At Dante's and Duke's (this one was at Duke's). I've heard all these songs (excluding "LA Song" which Chris performed live for the first time and which we had to help him remember) and if I don't know the words, I'm good on the mouth motions so it looks like I know the songs.

In fact, the only thing truly special about last night's concert (other than the whole cast and several crew of Leverage being there) was that I was never more cranky, cold, frustrated and nauseous (don't ask) upon arrival ever before. And you know what? By the time Christian started talking, even before the first song, all that washed away. I screamed (from the diaphragm so as not to damage my voice), sang along, and threw my hands up in the air as if I cared not, often making the sign for I Love You (which is true). I started in the back of the audience and made it as far as fourth 'row' by the end.

The inspiration here is that a band took me out of myself for the duration of a concert (and up until I got into the car). I screamed whenever Chris (or Aldis) told us to drink, even though I don't. I grinned at the references to flying down the highway in a car or gambling everything on a roll of the dice in Vegas, though I've done neither of those things. For those hours, it felt as if I had and knew exactly how they felt.

I love my music players; the one constantly playing on my computer and my CD or cassette player (I is old school) when I'm cooking. But there is NOTHING like listening to music live, as part of a crowd of people who are singing and screaming right along with you. It re-energized me, which sadly listening to music in my apartment cannot always achieve. It forced me to not let music just be background, but my sole focus. And while I can't channel that into writing music or playing an instrument, I can channel that energy in my own way. And I thank Kane for that (especially Stevie, 'cause he's my favourite).

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Screwing the Fourth Wall...Right in the Face

Last night on Supernatural was one of the funniest episodes I think I've seen of any TV show ever (and I watched Sports Night).

After a few months feeling down in the dumps for various reasons, I spent most of that hour laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. It reinvigorated me, if only to make sure that one day I find a way to be a part of this amazing show. Seriously, kill me off in the first three minutes of the episode, just let my name run on the credits of this kickass show. Let me spend a few days working with this crew and cast who seem like a welcoming family. (give me an opportunity to discern just what freaking colour the boys' eyes are!)

Watching Jared and Jensen play Sam and Dean trying to play Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles playing Sam and Dean was just the best moment ever. These gorgeous guys who kick ass are really just big dorks who can self-deprecate with the best of us. Sometimes I think they're so damn good (leaps and fucking bounds since they started) as actors that I forget they're actors at all. Until the gag reels. Or moments like "Eye of the Tiger". I aspire to that. I want to be that kind of an actor, who consistently turns out good, noteworthy work and yet can still make funny faces to get people laughing when the shoot is running too long and we're all exhausted. Or do a silly dance when I forget my lines to kick out my nervous energy. And when I do remember my lines to put the kind of power behind them that Jensen and Jared do. Have that small group of fans who love me off-camera as well.

I think that's one of the reasons this little show has gone on to six and *fingers crossed* seven seasons. It listens to its fans and it doesn't take itself too seriously. It mocks its stars and its creator and producers and everybody in the TV industry. It finds realistic (in a Supernatural world, of course) ways to demolish the fourth wall in one episode and build it back up by the next one. If you agree with me, take a minute and send the cast and crew a postcard telling them how much we love their work.

Details on spn_postcards here: