"Fake Talking, Background, Fake Talking"

So my day of working on Leverage was amazing! It reminded me that one day I want to be a good enough actress that I eat on the other side of the curtain where they fed you a couple times during a fifteen hour workday. =8->

Very Christian-heavy episode, so I had a few moments of 'try my best to look super-cute', but most of the time I was just chill. Apparently, going to all the concerts and seeing them all a lot has made it really easy to not be a total fangirl when around the cast. I met some very nice fellow extras and exchanged some info. Sadly, didn't get the number or even last name of the cute boy in front of my in the-line-that-never-ends. Though I did mention Chris's concert and Will (CB) said he'd try and make it. Seriously, Christian needs to start paying me for all the publicity I do for his band. I am willing to accept payment in the form of dates with Steve.

Oh, and Amanda (of the Cole Porter inducing crush) hung out with me when we could because she's a stand-in and she even drove me in and home! So sweet! And she watched some of the dailies and swore you could see me in at least one of the scenes, so all is well!

Let It Be

So, I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high, but good things seem to be coming my way. I've got an extra job on Leverage (and an excuse to hang with my friend, Amanda), an opportunity to meet one of my favourite writers, a chance to wear a nice dress and practise being 'elegant', a doctor's appointment to figure out what's weird with my right hand, a couple film screenings and a maybe chance to meet a man who could really give me a leg up in the acting world. And in a couple weeks I have that callback for a part I really love in a film I'd love to be a part of.

So, things are really looking up. I'm trying to strike the balance being giving my hopes up too high and expecting the worst. What will be will be and I'm trying to be okay with that.

Just Might (Make Me Believe)

So, I did my audition yesterday. Beforehand I found myself writing down in pencil, reasons why Anne and Poi (I didn't get to Josephine, nor probably would have been able to determine) say what they say.

Apparently, this paid off (mental praise to Andrea), because I've gotten a callback! I've been asked to come in at the end of the month (unsure why the break, but not going to question) and read for Anne again. This is particularly thrilling, as Anne was the character I most wanted! So I'm trying not to let my hopes get too high, nor believe I won't get the part so much it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just take each day as it happens and do my best to make this shot I'm taking count.

I'm trying to not spread the news about, in case I don't get the part. But I can tell you, my lieblings. And my mom. So keep your fingers crossed, because I got the chance I asked for and I am going to do whatever it takes to make it count!

Nothing to Fear But the Everything

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I didn't forget exactly, I just didn't remember at a time when I could think of a subject. But, fear not, now I have!

Fear. I could do an audition on Wednesday afternoon/early evening, but there's a good chance I will not. Why? Because I am afraid. It's not the fear of not being chosen or the fear of performing (I have never suffered from that particular affliction). It's that it's across town and I'd have to take buses and know when to get off and back on and buy tickets and have the correct change and try to navigate around a part of town I've never been to before. In short, I can't go to the audition (well, I could but you get what I mean) because I am a great, big, COWARD.

On my own behalf, I'd point out this audition will not earn me any money, nor is there proof that if I got a part I'd make money or be called up by anyone who can help me move my career along. But I also could get the part, have it make the rounds and be seen by people who should see it. It's this way with every audition ever.

I probably won't go to the audition. Every time I audition I always try to convince myself not to. I spent the whole day before and the walk to Limelight talking myself out of auditioning for BLW and in the end, I didn't listen to myself and got a part and was part of a wonderful show with a truly fantastic cast. It's all about weighing the difficulties with the envisioned reward. I did the BLW audition because I could walk to the theatre, I'd been there once before and I liked the show.

This audition isn't my kind of thing, I'd have to do the aforementioned bus transferring (which is another thing that scares the hell out of me) and I don't see it taking off in a significant way (should it win an Oscar for Best Short Film I promise to dance naked in the courtyard).

The worst thing is there isn't a lot of acting opportunities in my easy-to-get-to radius. Which is why I'm looking for another kind of job, one I won't want to do, but will keep me afloat. I don't look forward to it, but this is the path I am taking. I'll pay my dues and you can keep the change.